🔗 Share this article Nighttime Comics Take Aim At Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Immigration Plan Television's top hosts devoted the broadcast ridiculing former President Donald Trump's recently unveiled immigration initiative, dubbed the "Trump card," characterizing it as a blatant pay-for-access arrangement for the wealthy. Colbert's Witty Take Starting his show, Stephen Colbert offered a sardonic Christmas jingle targeting the president. "He's compiling a list, checking it twice, and then handing that list to the officials at ICE," he crooned. "Donald Trump ... ruins all he comes into contact with." The focus was the new program that enables foreign nationals to purchase U.S. residency for an investment of a million dollars, or "top-tier" option for five million. An official portal guarantees processing "in record time." "A quick note here to affluent applicants: before you pony up, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert remarked. He pointed out that the program is also designed to "squeeze cash" from companies wanting to hire foreign workers, involving significant payments. "That is a lot of fees, however if you register, you additionally get free accommodation at a property of your choice – if it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he added. "The best background check the U.S. government has ever done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to verify these applicants absolutely are eligible to be in America." "That is important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "The initial query: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?" Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Commentary On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card." "It's a card that will permit wealthy foreigners to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get legal visitor status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your selection." "It might be time to update that poem on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your huddled masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked. Kimmel lampooned the simplicity of the application, saying it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo." "Indeed, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "That's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you give the needle a million dollars." Seth Meyers covering Grocery Struggles Meanwhile, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's declining approval numbers amid economic worries. "People gave Donald Trump a second term because they were angry about the economy," he explained. This week, in a bid to discuss affordability, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a selection of grocery items, where he reacted strangely to boxes of cereal. "These look great, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a while." "He's so extremely weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?" Meyers concluded by criticizing right-leaning media coverage of Trump's financial performance. "Perhaps instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he joked.
Television's top hosts devoted the broadcast ridiculing former President Donald Trump's recently unveiled immigration initiative, dubbed the "Trump card," characterizing it as a blatant pay-for-access arrangement for the wealthy. Colbert's Witty Take Starting his show, Stephen Colbert offered a sardonic Christmas jingle targeting the president. "He's compiling a list, checking it twice, and then handing that list to the officials at ICE," he crooned. "Donald Trump ... ruins all he comes into contact with." The focus was the new program that enables foreign nationals to purchase U.S. residency for an investment of a million dollars, or "top-tier" option for five million. An official portal guarantees processing "in record time." "A quick note here to affluent applicants: before you pony up, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert remarked. He pointed out that the program is also designed to "squeeze cash" from companies wanting to hire foreign workers, involving significant payments. "That is a lot of fees, however if you register, you additionally get free accommodation at a property of your choice – if it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he added. "The best background check the U.S. government has ever done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to verify these applicants absolutely are eligible to be in America." "That is important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "The initial query: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?" Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Commentary On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card." "It's a card that will permit wealthy foreigners to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get legal visitor status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your selection." "It might be time to update that poem on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your huddled masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked. Kimmel lampooned the simplicity of the application, saying it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo." "Indeed, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "That's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you give the needle a million dollars." Seth Meyers covering Grocery Struggles Meanwhile, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's declining approval numbers amid economic worries. "People gave Donald Trump a second term because they were angry about the economy," he explained. This week, in a bid to discuss affordability, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a selection of grocery items, where he reacted strangely to boxes of cereal. "These look great, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a while." "He's so extremely weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?" Meyers concluded by criticizing right-leaning media coverage of Trump's financial performance. "Perhaps instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he joked.